Twice now Alia has tried to embarrass me with her bodily functions. The first time happened in my home town, at my church. Church was about to begin and I noticed Alia needed a diaper change. I left Scott and Avery in the sanctuary, grabbed a diaper and wipes out of the diaper bag and headed for the bathroom. When I was changing her, she began to pee. I tried to catch the pee with her new diaper only to realize that the new diaper was upside down and inside out. Realizing this, I pulled it out from under her while she continued to empty her bladder. Now what to do? There I stood, with no new diaper and a little girl with pee-soaked clothes. I had to strip her down to nothing and walk back to the sanctuary to retrieve another diaper and new clothes. Too bad we were seated half way to the altar and I had to pass by several curious onlookers with a naked baby in tow.
The second time she tried was today. She definitely wasn't making it easy to make some new friends. It was a hot day, like every day has been so far in June. I decided to walk to the park with Avery and Alia to meet some moms from the neighborhood because they meet weekly at the park. I put Alia on the front pack and Avery wanted to "ride" his bike so I gave in and let him. I say ride in quotes because he refused to pedal and instead pushed with his feet. The park is a few blocks away so it took 15 minutes to get there. Once there, I was really sweating from carrying Alia and dragging Avery and his bike. I tried to look somewhat presentable even though I was sweating from every pore in my body. I walked up, took Alia out of the carrier and sat down on the bench. She was standing on my lap for about five minutes while I talked to the other mom's and while Avery played in the sand. I glanced down at one point to see how wet my shirt had become from all of the sweat only to discover that the whole front of my shirt is covered in poop! I look at Alia and notice that she is also covered in poop. Great, now what. Did the other mothers notice? I decide to nonchalantly stand up and pretend to get something out of my bag which was on another bench. I look for a diaper and wipes which I always carry only to realize that they were in another bag and not in the bag I had at the park. Fun times! I then quickly decide to put Alia back in the front carrier so no one could see the poop on the front of my shirt or all over her. Then I try to explain to Avery as quietly as I can that we need to leave the park and head back home. Of course, he wasn't pleased because we had just gotten there. The worst part of leaving was realizing that I was now covered in poop, as was Alia and we had to walk back the several blocks in the sweaty heat, dragging Avery on his bike. I wonder what those mom's thought of us on our first meeting, what a great first impression!
4 comments:
What is she eating that gives her such bright green poop?
I feed her candy all day. I mean I do hope she enjoys it as much as Avery and I do.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
that's hilarious!!!!!!!!
-kel
Man, I remember those days. Asa was a professional at pooping straight up his back, I mean little to nothing in the diaper. I am sorry for your incredibly difficult day at the park. You will however look back and laugh, I promise.
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